Wednesday, February 12, 2025

Improvements

Rufus is not concerned
Not as interesting an update as talking about books - even to me, and it's about me - but I'm deep in formatting and other not very glamorous things this week, so this is what we all get. 

I had a follow up with the doctor last week. My blood pressure is definitely lower but she wanted to try me on a different medication now that she's seen my lab work. Knowing how I am about being stuck with needles, would I be willing to do another blood draw in a month to confirm that this new, better, combination blood pressure medication isn't affecting my kidney function? It's a rare but not unknown side effect. She's never seen it personally, but she'd prefer to be safe, and I get that. 

And honestly, since the blood draw wasn't the horror that I made it out to be, I've scheduled it for the same day as my mammogram because then I'm going to give myself one hell of a treat in the evening. After that, and after my upcoming vacation, I go back to her for another checkup combined with my yearly gyn exam, and then I'm on maintenance for the foreseeable future. 

Exhale. 

Though I think I'll keep up the therapy for a while. It feels kind of good.

Wednesday, February 5, 2025

Birth of a cover


First of all, here it is - the glorious cover of my next book, French Lessons!

I love it so much. (I know, I always say that - but I always love them. Just this one a bit more so).

The covers for the Ava & Claire books were done by a different designer, who's doing so well with her fiction now that she doesn't have to do cover design to make ends meet. We should all be so lucky, but then again, all she was was persistent and talented. I can do that.

I sent my new designer (the one who did the Tudor Court revamp) the covers for Coming Apart, Coming Closer, and Coming Together, along with a vintage photo to use in the new cover. I told her to keep the scrapbook-with-elements concept of the previous covers, but to put her spin on it. While I like the script font on the old covers, I wasn't against changing fonts, but I wanted something handwriting-esque, because there are a lot of letters in the books.

Here were some of my notes from the cover brief: Women’s historical fiction. Emotional, feminine. Set in Paris, so French, if that’s a feeling. Paris, 1946-47. Pearl is a 25-year-old girl who finally takes her dream trip to Paris to become a writer. She’s had to wait out the long years of WWII and she’s finally there. But she’s left her family behind, feels somewhat lost, and Paris seems to have plans for her (love) that aren’t what she wants. Not sure how you want to take the cover-with-ephemera idea, but for this book – French newspapers, letters, home, lilacs, vintage postcards of Paris.

She hit it out of the freaking park on the first draft.

I stared at it for a day, thinking that if I had to, I could absolutely upload it to Amazon and not be ashamed to sell a book wrapped in it. Then I decided what few things needed changing (the type of flower), removing the watch, swapping the keys into that spot so it didn't look as crowded, and let her know, in words and with drawn-on suggestions.

She gave me back two options with slight differences in flower/color, and one of them was almost exactly it. I gave her brief notes about version 3 (spacing at top left corner, mostly, and adding the tag line that I'd forgotten) and we were done.

It took less than 4 days, and included stretches of time with no contact because she's in a very different time zone and our waking hours don't cross for long.


Wednesday, January 29, 2025

Through the fog


Just a brief post this week because there's nothing left in the tank. Fumes. I'm running on literal fumes. 

On Sunday, I finished the edits for French Lessons. On Monday, I did a few more, then did a quick format and sent the book out to a few early readers/typo hunters. 

Tuesday I got my hair cut and ran a bunch of errands. 

Also in there somewhere was getting the cover done for the book (cover reveal next week plus showing how we went from idea to finished cover), getting bloodwork done last Friday (all clear except I need less white flour/rice and more fiber), and of course going to work every day.

I'd like a nap but that's not happening. Maybe on Friday for my birthday. Which is a whole other thing.

Next week will be better.

Right?

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

A little help

We had snow again on Sunday. Thankfully we were off on Monday, so we could clean up at our leisure and not have to skate or drive anywhere. It wasn't a heavy snow, but it was hte kind with an ice crust underneath. Glad the sun came out.

Modern medicine is a thing, y'all. Almost two weeks ago, I had a follow-up doctor's appointment and she gave me meds for my blood pressure. Ten days on, my pressure is at 118/74, which is many, many points lower than it was. 

I still ahve a lot of catch-up work to do. Mammogram, annual gyn, bloodwork... The bloodwork is happening this Friday, even though the thought of it makes me hyperventilate slightly.

I was talking to someone at work last week who mentioned how much online counseling had helped him after his wife's death and I thought about it and made an appointment with BetterHealth. I know why I avoid doctors - I have a laundry list of reasons as long as the care I've avoided - but I decided that getting some help in reframing those reasons and getting tthrough apointments without my blood pressure and heart rate spiking to worrying levels could only be a good idea.

And it was. I got matched with a therapist within 48 hours (they ask very specific questions about what you want/don't want from a therapistt) and we had our first chat last Friday. Sometimes it's just good to bounce the weirdness in your brain off someone else who can tell you - with medical certainty - that your brain isn't that weird. I'm talking to her again tomorrow, to get me prepped for Friday's labs.

There's no shame in asking for a little help. Even the best car needs a tuneup every once in a while. If you're interested in trying it out, this link will get you two free weeks.

Onward, people. If I don't deal with my health, I'll have to deal with my ill health. I know which I prefer.

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Resolved

I've never been a fan of New Year's resolutions. They rarely seem to make it to February, especially those "New Year, New You" resolutions that you're going to completely change your diet, your exercise routine, your life. Nope. Intentions like that are how gyms keep the lights on.

What I like to do is make goals. Things to work toward, not on a specific time frame, and not black and white, do or die declarations. 

While I do have personal goals - one of them having to do with getting a grip on my health and my attitude toward doctors - what I want to talk about today are professional goals. 

Because I'm a professional. I'm not just a writer, I'm a business. And it's more than time to treat it that way. 

I stopped working full-time in 2013. Between occasional temping, Etsy, and craft shows, I made enough. I covered my bills, got most of what I wanted, and didn't feel stress about money. But I also live a pretty low-spend life, for the most part. It's just how I am, having been raised without a lot and knowing it was generally on me to support myself. Even now, having been married for 13 years, I still like knowing that I could support myself fully, and no matter what our job situations are, we share all household expenses equally, while having separate accounts.  

I've decided, for this year, that enough isn't enough. I work hard; I write good books; I joined a coaching program and have learned a lot about marketing and advertising. I made more this year on writing then I have in any of the last 10 years overall, which is wonderful. I'm at about 80% of my old law firm salary. But I can do better. 

This year's goal is to replace my old law firm salary, after expenses. That's a hard thing to say out loud. A lot of us were raised to not talk about money, or to be embarrassed or uncomfortable with asking for what we're worth. But how many men go through the world feeling that they don't deserve what they're paid? I'm not dumping on men - well, maybe a little - but oh, for the confidence of a mediocre white man.

Yes, making a lot of money would be lovely. We could go on nice vacations, or finally redo the kitchen. But I could also write a check to our local cat rescue without worrying about shorting myself or make a cash donation in lieu of volunteering, because sometimes it's better to buy back your time. 

When women make money, they aren't the only ones who benefit.

Wednesday, January 8, 2025

Snow day

Nothing much to report this week. Monitoring my blood pressure at home and it's much better (especially without coffee). Annoying that coffee is such a large part of my identity; decaf just doesn't sound as cool.

I'm almost done French Lessons - I'll be there by the end of the week. The first half is already pretty much where I want it, so edits on the second half and working with my cover designer, who comes back from holiday break this week, the same day as my follow-up doctor's appointment. 

We had a bit of snow Saturday and the forecast was for 3"-6" on Monday. Everything closed. So we went for a long walk in the actual 2" that fell and I took a few pictures. 

Snow is pretty until people leave their houses and mess it up.

Wednesday, January 1, 2025

Ignorance is not bliss

Apparently.

When I was a kid, I was sick all the time. Ear infections, earaches, bronchitis. I was at the doctor at least once a month until I got my my tonsils out, which decreased the visits, but I was an only child with protective parents, so if I sniffled, I was sitting on some crackling white paper with a popsicle stick in my mouth.

Which made adult Karen, in charge of her own health, rightly doctor-avoidant. I went when necessary, and then I didn't. 

Until. Mario got laid off in February, with his severance, so our benefits didn't run out until the week because his new job started. Since his new job is also at a university, the benefits are more or less identical.

Except. The new benefits require a referral for my eye appointments, the one form of health care I haven't avoided. And I didn't have a primary.

So I got one. And she made me come in. And I heard more or less what I expected: "You're chubby, your blood pressure is too high, and why have you not done XYZ for this many years?" The blood pressure was a guess, because both my parents had high blood pressure by the time they were my age. And I was right. 

Bleh. I'm pissed at my body for letting me down, and I'm pissed at myself for letting my body down. But that's fine, and now I have a happy little monitor to check my pressure at home and I go back to the doctor in in two weeks, where I'm sure I'll get prescribed something to deal With the problem.

Then I'll start dealing with the rest of the laundry list she gave me. 

Fun fact: my BP was high, and then the doctor said "blood draw" and it actually went UP. 

Diagnosis: advanced white coat syndrome.