Saturday, December 6, 2014
Clouds got in my way
You know the kind, the ones that arrive overnight, for no particular reason, and make all the lights in your brain dip down to resemble 20 watt bulbs.
I've got nothing to complain about right now, and I know it. But when you wake up with a cloud like that, you can know that all you want, but you don't care. Everything is crap. By 9:00 a.m. I had already decided that I should stop sewing, my business sucked, I should go back to work full time, lose weight, exercise more, clean my house, do something that wasn't all about what I wanted to do. In other words, change almost everything.
But who listens when they're in that state? Not me.
By the time Mario got home from work (and it says something for him, and the state of our relationship, that I had myself thoroughly convinced my life was shit but he never entered into it; at least I'd made one good choice, right?), I was over myself. I told him I was in a rotten mood. We had dinner, with wine, and when that didn't fix everything, he pulled up our newly acquired Netflix and turned on Love Actually, a movie I can't seem to watch often enough, and which almost always can pull me out of a mood.
This morning, I had breakfast with a friend, which was good. Then I took myself for a nice long walk down to our local cemetery, which is as close to getting out in nature as you'll find in West Philadelphia. After my third circuit around the running path (walking; I was down, but not crazy), I felt pretty good.
Fresh air and exercise and getting away from the visible city always raise my spirits. Seeing a juvenile redtail hawk, feeling it fly so close over my head that my hair ruffled in the breeze from its wings, was just a plus.
Tonight was the opening party for my neighborhood craft show. I went, I sold, I had wine. I felt better.