Unreal

I know I've recently mentioned the new book covers and I shouldn't be beating this horse - which is not dead but which you may be tired of - but I got a box of books the other day with those new covers and I was just speechless for a little while. 

That doesn't really make sense, because I've been working with the designer on them for the past six or so weeks (and they're up online), so they shouldn't have been a surprise. But opening the box and seeing those jewel toned covers staring up at me just stopped me cold. 

They look like something I would see in a bookstore. And while being in a bookstore has never been a big part of my plan as an indie author - it's even harder than you would think to get them to take us seriously - looking like something that belongs there just adds another layer of validity, even for me.

I said to my husband that they didn't even feel like my books anymore, which is probably partly because Songbird is almost 5 years old now, and I guess there has to be a separation eventually. But it's also because these covers are far beyond what I expected of myself. I'd had the old covers for so long, and I really like them, and when it was suggested before that I update them to something that was on trend, I pushed back. 

Maybe I just wasn't ready to be seen in the way that I'm ready now? I don't know. Therapy was years ago and it didn't deal with putting myself out there in a professional sense. I'm a work in progress, but then, aren't we all?