Change is gonna come

I've been feeling something brewing lately. Not sure what. 

And it's hard to tell - it feels like the whole world is holding its breath for a shoe to drop or a pandemic ora a war or some other everyday horror. So I just felt the feeling and accepted it.

It's nothing earthshaking, as it turns out, except to me.

I decided that I'm no longer going to do craft shows. I still had two on the books - farmers markets - and I was able to give those back. The biggest fall shows I hadn't applied for yet (deliberately?), and I'm not going to.

It's not that I don't enjoy them, but I'm not sewing the way that I used to and every time a show approaches, I panic because I just fulfilled a shop order and I don't have enough merchandise. Cue the frantic sewing of things that don't sell at the show - because something else does and then I have none of that. The pressure was taking the joy out of it entirely.

Once I got the idea into my head, it didn't even really take much thinking about. I thought I'd regret it, but as soon as I made the decision and emailed the people who needed to know, I felt nothing but the most enormous relief.

So I'm going to back away, look for a few more stockists in and around Philadelphia and Delaware Counties, and concentrate on my writing. That's what I want to do, it brings in more income than crafting these days, and that way I can still sew and not dread it because of deadlines.

It's the deadlines, isn't it? 

It is.